“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Prov 13:12
I just learned that we should check our hearts when our desires are unfulfilled because we may not see that the challenges we face make us hard, frustrated and obstinate rather than teachable, satisfied and humble.
It’s been a Year running this Dream of becoming an Entrepreneur. Everyday looks like its passing and yet no progress. I keep chanting today at church to keep focus. Hope nobody recognized it. They’ll think I’m nuts!
Well this Dream is not going to come easy. God visited last week to tell me that “The difficulties I face are building the Character I need to finish this Big Project.” The toughness of facing a status quo every day might break your pride. I also see that the challenge of waiting and pursuing your goal everyday brings maturity. It also increases the value to the goal and, sometimes, the person your pursue; obviously, I haven’t pursued anybody in the past 3 years. 🙂 But what I am saying is that a person who has fought for his Education, – a working student, will find the right punch to destroy the odds against anything that will stop him from graduation. A privileged student in ease would just give up, shift to another course or simply fail.
Well, the occasion happened yesterday during a preliminary meeting for finding the people that I need, yesterday, to assign a job. But after a long time of strategyzing and wait, I’m desperate. I was obviously applying what you call the hook points, testing people to assure myself that they will not “exercise their freedom to purposely sabotage my plans”. For this, I exposed a blind spot.
Then it happened. Creativity flowed. Analysis. Then I sent a little “extra” to the Email. Probably quite an extra that my small appendage was indeed, a paragraph! Criticisms fly and voila!
And so, someone is offended. I will not make excuses. It is challenging to deal with the socially adept, sensitive, hospitable, kind, fighting (doesn’t back out), clannish, friendly, opinionated, good-natured and patient Filipino. Nevertheless, Filipino or not, people need to be valued, cherished and anything negative will not go down quietly with any person.
I also had a hint for the answer to this “Venting the Frustration to the Random Person I meet – “The Morning Pages”. This was a suggestion given by Julia Cameron from the book, The Artist’s Way. It’s God’s way of pointing the finger and telling me: “You might need this for the week.” I found it at the Faculty Room. The books encourages artists to just write 3 pages of any thoughts, even rumbling everyday! Do that and you don’t have to throw up like me, (it’s really a bad habit) on the people I care most. (And also those I barely know, – weird!)
And When frustrations pile up, your person get stressed. It’s like being punched many times before that you wince at the pain. On my case, I have failed at hiring a person before and my ussual response: fear. Fear of loss. But fear will not make you more teachable, satisfied and humble. Instead it drives people away in mistrust and the cycle goes. In my case, I was over-defensive and offended the person.
We might need to loosen up whenever life becomes tough. We must teach our heart to move on and trust God. We have to continue to believe in the fact God desires to prosper us and in his time, fulfill our dreams and desires.