The Unofficial Manual for Guys on Life
MANY GIRLS always wonder why guys are so hard to figure out. Indeed the wiring is un-mistakeable. Boys will be boys, as they say.
Now, this post is not about relationships. This post rose from an interaction the other day with a friend in church. The question goes like this, why do guys not lead. Well, the answer I thought to myself is, it is optional. Most guys are ruled by the bottom line: The deadline, except of course if it was a source of curiosity or self actualization, which is a high word for “fun” or “interest” .
The truth is, when I was born, a great wizard came to my house to deliver a Booklet, which I believe hold the secrets for all the heartache of women, the frustration of colleagues and the one that may finally solve the World’s problems including world Peace. 😉
RULES FOR GUYS
Newly initiated boys will have little discomfort in learning the rules of men. They might not be written but through active observation and mentoring of older men, he will get the heck of it. Here they are, not written in order of importance
The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! No man is required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional.
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
You have enough clothes and too many shoes.
Men like sleeping on the couch, it’s like camping.
And as with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess.
All Rules written or unwritten are made for any offense of any man, woman or “otherwise”. Have a great Day Everyone.