Understanding Lawbreakers, Delinquents, Hurting and Violently Aggressive People
Working with my leaders in ministry, allowed me to be exposed to a gamut of many different people. Some of them may be fine and a lot of them are struggling and needing tons of help. Some have been raped or molested, others experience being left by their parents or physically and emotionally abused.
In this situation there are 2 ways that they react, they could either be aggressive or passive. This article would be how to deal with the aggressive type. Some of them might be disruptive in class or work and find ways to get into fights and criminal behavior. They could also spiral into different addictions, alcohol, drugs and sex. For the most part, these individuals are struggling to find someone who care.
In our good intentions, we want to be able to help them on our terms, becoming their “savior”. In church culture, they would normally feel rejected and forced to stop bad habits and celebrated when they do. Some may change, but for most who can not stop their bad habits, the guilt and shame will continue to plague them. If they have not felt cared for, the message of the love of God might not look to be a great solution in their lives.
To be able to help broken, rebellious or hurting people, we must understand how most of these feel. Most of them would be experiencing:
- They’ve often had a lifetime of believing and being told they don’t live up to expectations.
- They had a lifetime of feeling shame because of it
- They’ve kept a lot of secrets over the years because of the shame
- They are often reluctant to come to therapy, let alone share their innermost thoughts and feelings
- They’re used to hearing more about what they do wrong, including
- They already know something’s not working, and have probably been told so many times.
- They may act like they don’t, but that’s just to try to defend themselves against shame and guilt
- They spend a lot of time staring at their past, looking back and dreading going forward
- They privately beat up on themselves a lot, they may display a false bravado that mask them doing so.
- They’ve envied others the life they see others have for a long time, and longed to have it
- They’ve never been able to get that kind of life for themselves, and may have given up hope
- They’ve had a lot more feelings than they would have liked to have, or knew what to do with
- They feel powerless in many ways, at the very least to have their life turn out the way they want
- They have a lot of people in their head who work them over regularly
- They feel at the mercy of others comments or opinions, or their life events
- They believe that what others say and do and what happens makes them feel the way they do
- It’s probably not the first time they’ve had to “talk to someone”.
I think it’s always good to keep such things in mind when first meeting with broken, hurting or damaged people or in some type of group counseling, or at least one intended to be. That’s especially true when the two of you have been cast together as total strangers.
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