Archian Speaks about Life & Relationships

Life, Business & finding the Father

Love and relationships during the lockdown pandemic

Would you take the Inner U Love Quiz. The (My) Results

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Archian - Life, Bacolod, Architecture, Finances & Dubai

Inner U Love Quiz. The Results

Personal growth and relationships understanding dating connection
Personal growth and relationships understanding dating connection

To say that my romantic relationship is non existent is in itself an understatement. I have a quarter century of study and learning in this elusive art of relationships. After 30 years of knocking my head off, I stumble into the Love Questions.

For a moment, I was intrigued. And I smiled.

Let me share three of the questions.

Attempt to make my first video. Apologies for really bad audio. 😦

1. What movie TITLE best describes your love life?
a) Good Will Hunting
b) 100 Years of Solitude
c) The Usual Suspects
d) Singing in the Rain
e) Raging Bull

My answer? b. a million years of . . .

2. What adjective best describes the type of human you typically date (or keep)?
a) Inspiring
b) Soulful
c) Safe
d) Unavailable
e) Certifiable

It’s complicated. I go for all of the above but find that I feel short when I come face to face with a girl I want. So I end up dreaming of the: d. the unavailable 😦

 

Instead of reading all my answers, why don’t you take the quiz yourself! Here is the link to InnerU.com Love Quiz.

 

3. If you’re currently single, the following is an accurate assessment of how many people know that you’re in the “meet market?
a) Everyone
b) Only my nearest and dearest
c) A few; reminding them would seem desperate.
d) Nobody
e) I am in a relationship

a. Everyone who is friend with someone who knows me. (That’s what I assume)

Learning to learn to understand and listen to yourself
Learning to learn to understand and listen to yourself

I didn’t want to spoil the Test, yet here are my results:

Final Score: You scored 2

UH OH. Okay, it could be worse. But but but, it/you could be better, and you SO know it (or at least now you do). If you got a 2 in the LSD quiz, have a seat…in the time-out chair. Yes, we’re calling you a brat in this arena. More than likely you have many theories about love, sex, and dating that are not only informing you, they are picking your dates for you (or avoiding picking them). Get busy catching your negative inner dialogue. We promise you, your thoughts are creating your reality. Your mind needs a new CEO (Chief Excuse Manager).

What I enjoyed about the test is that it didn’t put labels or judgments on how “relationships should be”.

Instead, with humor, the questions are a mirror. “Could it be that you believe that . . . .” These oppurtunities for realization assists a person in pausing and reflecting on how they are “doing” and “being” in life. Its like instead of being offered a bus tour curated by one author and her beliefs, you are offered a map. With this map you gain autonomy in figuring out what works and does not work in your romantic life.

Why don’t you take the quiz before I spoil the rest of the Quiz?

 

Instead of reading all my answers, why don’t you take the quiz yourself! Here is the link to InnerU.com Love Quiz.

Interestingly, the quiz starts with a warning that the purpose is not to depress you but for learning.

 

Living happy fulfilled to be single
Living happy fulfilled to be single

Without further ado, if its is my life you are interested in, here are my answers. If I may, I’d really really want to know your results too. 😀

4. How would you best describe the relationship you’re in right now or your last one:
a) A prison sentence.
b) A business relationship to raise children, pets, or both.
c) A bit more similar to my parents’ relationship than I’d like, but a definite upgrade.
d) Loving, connected, just a little less steamy than it once was.
e) Hot, fun, and for forever.

I’ll say b.

5. What sport/game would best describe your dating life?
a) Fishing (in a stocked pond)
b) Football (on a good team)
c) Golf
d) Blind Man’s Bluff
e) Pin the Tail on the Donkey (aka ass)

I don’t really get the analogy. Probably d.

6. If you’ve met someone online (or got fixed up with someone), you text a few times and then you…
a) text some more.
b) what the heck, as these dates are hard to come by, head straight to a 2-hour meal, order the lobster, and hope for the best.
c) hop on the phone. Yay you. Once there, you hate them, but talk yourself out of it, and give them the benefit of the doubt(s) and meet them for dinner.
d) hop on a video call, making sure there truly is a connection before you waste either of your time or money on a date
e) head out for a quick coffee or drink, you know better than to risk a long bad date.

I answer c.

7. You listened to our coaching and after a good phone call with a prospective date, you take the next call to a video chat. On the call, you can now tell that they lied about something, i.e they’re older than they said in their profile, you…
a) immediately do your best, bravest and sweetest, can I ask you something…and ask.
b) say nothing, maybe it’s just the lighting, a type-o, or your memory.
c) say nothing, but bitch about it to your friends later and use it when necessary to stay put on your couch and not date again.
d) unsubscribe to our newsletter.
e) ask and, while you’re at it, ‘fess that you said you were “athletic and fit” in the profile and really have a few (read: five) more pounds to go.

I’d go for b.

romantic relationship challenges on a lockdown and pandemic
romantic relationship challenges on a lockdown and pandemic

8. Your first date with someone new was just okay, not great, but not awful. There was something sweet/ish about them, but you can’t really imagine kissing them EVER, you…
a) assume there was enough hemming and hawing in your Head that you decide to give them one more shot. After the next date, if your Hoo-ha still gives them a 7 or lower (out of 10), you’re out.
b) make the call: nah. They’re too many great ones out there to date someone you are this meh about.
c) what the heck, a date’s a date. Times are hard. You go out again with them. It’s better than staying at home.
d) go out with them again, but suggest an unromantic movie or live event, so you can’t possibly get to know them better or, um, see them.
e) out of niceness, exaggerate about how much fun you had (aka lie) and see how it goes next time. What have you got to lose.

None of the above. I don’t go out at all. Typical Asian should be e.

9. On the first few dates, you make sure you discuss…
a) almost everything. OK, maybe you stepped over one tiny thing they said, but you promised yourself (and your best friend) that you’d address it on the next date.
b) only what your date wants to discuss. You don’t want to seem high maintenance, pushy, or interrogative.
c) everything except politics, the anger they still seem to have towards their ex, your dander allergy, or their labrador.
d) whatever. Getting to know someone is an organic process, you let the conversation go where it goes.
e) anything and everything. You gracefully curate the conversation, making sure you both really get to know each other, ensuring by the end of the 3rd date, all your and their big ticket items have been discussed.

I say d.

10. At the end of your 2nd date, you already know you want a 3rd date, but you’re not sure how your date feels, you…
a) knock on wood, hope for the best, and wait.
b) get over yourself and start not liking them right then and there, just in case.
c) ask them how the date was for them, letting them know you had fun, are practicing radical honesty, and would appreciate the truth from them, too.
d) eye-roll at us for even suggesting C, but do it anyway… via text.
e) A and then, by day 3, if still no word, block them.

I’m a b.

Love and relationships during the lockdown pandemic
Love and relationships during the lockdown pandemic

11. You went on the first date, you had a really good time, you thank them for the date, but don’t hear from them, you…
a) text WTF.  You will not be ignored.
b) wait, whimper, stalk them, and start making sh-t up about what you did wrong.
c) let a few days pass and then you send a text, admitting you were a bit bummed you didn’t hear from them as you had fun. But, since every date is an opportunity to learn something, you would love to hear (with grace, please) their truth.
d) and then, after a few days of driving yourself crazy, A
e) skip this question, as this never happens to you because, before the date ends, you ask for the truth. Why go home wondering, ever.

d. because I never get to asking someone out.

12. When it comes to having sex with someone you are dating, you…
a) wait until you know for sure (cause you asked) what the person is also looking for (whether it’s a fling or the real thing).
b) what the hell, jump at the chance, but you’re fairly certain they’re on the same page as you re: what you want/don’t want (including STDs!).
c) if you’re looking for love, wait until you’re both on the same page and are exclusively dating each other. Or, if you’re simply looking for a fling, you make sure they’re on board, and fling away.
d) have sex early on, you don’t know when’s the next chance you’ll get.
e) have sex as it’s easier than having the more vulnerable honest conversation re: what you and they are looking for.

13. You’re dating someone and sex is pretty darn good, though you’ve got a couple of notes for them, you…
a) convince yourself you are just being shallow and get over yourself.
b) eh, what the heck. No one’s perfect. However, with a few well placed sound effects, you’re pretty sure they’ll get the hint.
c) say nothing. Sex dwindles out in time, anyway.
d) sweetly tell them, as you trust that your person is as open to feedback as you are. In fact, you grab a pen for their notes, too.
e) get out now, as you consider yourself semi psychic and just know they won’t be able to handle the truth, ever.

a.

If I were given this questionnaire 10 years ago and it wouldn’t be any helpful. My life is about figuring out the “successful” moves; about right and wrong. To “win a girl”. As I click on the final question, I finally arrive to the best lesson of all: I have been face to face with the only person I need to be in relationship with – with myself. 

Because the more you love and care for yourself, it attracts a whole world out there who will want to take care of you.

Selfie at Mararison Beach
Author taking a Selfie at Mararison Beach
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Author: Archian

An Architect, Blogger and Strategic Thinker

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