How I found my Way to Meditation

The Evil of Meditation

I was not a believer of Meditation. I am a Christian. And there is a reason I avoid it.

It started out as a short conversation on philosophy and a short counsel from a well meaning sister in Church: “You should avoid transcendental meditation and eastern meditation.” Those words resounded with me. I also read them (the 2 meditation above) on the list of things that can get you into demon possession (which include in the list: participating in religious rituals, premarital sex and spirit of the glass/board). God is angered when we honor other gods before him. Connect that to scripture that says that “when demons leave and come back, they invite 10 more with them”. So I decided it is altogether fine to avoid all forms of meditation, the same way I decided long ago not to go through the fuss of having a girlfriend?!?

Buddhist Mindfulness Meditation

The Blame and Guilt.

I was doing great at work but I was struggling to make life work. I was hard to please and didn’t get satisfied no matter how beautiful the place, the gifts, the experience. I was having lots of guilt. I am angry deep inside but yearn to look good and positive as a Christian. I was measuring life to its ideal and the emotional baggage got heavy. Well, there’s no other person who could be cruel than you.

To yourself.

Can you imagine going to worships where everyone’s rolling over laughing in the Spirit for an hour. I got about 10 guys got demons cast out from them, including homosexuals vomiting all kinds of green colored fluid for physical manifestation. But why wasn’t any demon cast out of me? But I knew there was something there. And getting religiously mystical made it worse. It spooked a lot of devil-hunting and paranoia. So I decided I was just crazy. . . but again. . . .

I blame myself for things I was not. For not being good enough. For not giving enough. For not evangelizing enough. For not praying. And every person was a competition.

Anger and Guilt

I got desperate.

If this is what life is, something is fundamentally wrong. It is not enough to go to a few worship meetings and read the bible more to get the change I want. I believe I needed a paradigm shift that would totally change my perspective in life. And so I listen hard to what God is speaking.

Guilt and condemnation

Applying Self Compassion

The Tunnel with the Light.

Of all coincidence, the tunnel had to be challenging. That tunnel is a coaching community, but in a twist of faith, its an exercise of humility to learn from people, most of them, themselves homosexuals. But the need to find my answers was deeper than my homo-phobia. I remember the scene in Kungfu Panda where the panda opens the magic scroll.

Finally.

And see

It is empty.

It was there I learned what I knew all the time. The answer to life’s difficult problems is simple: Listening to myself breathing.

Slow down. Take the time to rest. Feel sadness happiness, calm. To smell the roses.

To love. To live.

Ian Jay Bantilan at the Dome of the Rock, Israel

Clarification:

I am not saying that all non-Christian meditation is ok or do not have spiritual connection. There are meditations that can give you a doorway to demon possession. But I know that my Father knows what you need before I ask Him. And it is this trust, though in my weak way, finally led me to find help that I need.

Thank you God for the simplicity of slowing down. Less of fear, anger, guilt and shame. Live life for real.

Thank you also for those who seek and found what they were looking for in their journey through LEAP69. 🙂 🙂

new jordan israel

The Jordan: Crossing the Promised Land

Filipinos are a breed of sentimental people. They seldom like goodbyes. But there was one goodbye from this place a thousand years ago that was equally heavy emotionally: Moses who has fought and prayed and fasted to reach the Promise Land is a few kilometers of his goal but God says, this is as far as you can go. From the thick air which blurs out the whole valley, we could see miles and miles of endless sand, glimmering in the morning sun while cool breeze blow through my face.

This is Mount Nebo in Jordan.

How we ended there? is a long story. This how its happened.

We set out our journey in the Philippines, excited for a long adventure. We made a rendezvous in the City of Gold – Dubai en route to Jordan. Not the man who flies but the place with men of thick beard and accent. In its capital is a strange sight you will find it mysterious.

stepping to my first Emirates airlines

wider cushioned seats on the airline business class

Mediteranean Meal served on board

Me and my folks on turkey

My brother and his lovely wife

The Airport of Amman is a striking contrast to Dubai’s. While Dubai gave its tune of modern architecture (I am sorry guys, I’m an architect by profession and a teacher once before) by using chrome and metal at every oppurtunity, Amman’s Airport exuded truthfulness. The light colors matched the structure to its sandy landscape. It’s walls were textured concrete, unadorned. And yet, the arches and curves gave the superstructure its distinct identity. In the interior, you will find Islamic resonance with geometric forms softened by curves on the triangular corners.

We were here. It is quite interesting how we cam through faster than their locals, as they were thouroughly checked for contraband material. Was it the charm of our Jordanian host or as most will think, there could be a real threat of attacks from their population?

Amman Jourdan

From the capital, we rode the bus that took us around the countryside. Not much surprise, the only plants growing were olives and, if properly watered: bananas. The popular sport in the area is growing sheep and goats, also known as herding. . .

We climbed through the mountainside onto this early christian church which was built to commemorate where the Israelites would have stayed. At this time of year, it wasn’t this hot, but surely during summer, it would have been hard to feed a million angry shouting Israelites clamoring for fine cheese and shawarma from Egypt.

The early Christian Church was adorned with mosaic, the early expression of architecture details of their time. Mosaics are an artwork composted of inter laying materials such as stone or pottery of different shades to create an overall painting when viewed as a whole. The whole ancient structure was well preserved, considering that it is now 1,400 years old! Another factor for its preservation is the dry and cool climate, which you can see the stones still have a light earth color.

Outside the church, there was a newly installed pole. They say this was supposedly where Moses placed a staff with a snake sculpture, the emblem that stuck through the ages for doctors. It represented healing for those in the medicine profession. This can be seen on my solo picture.

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Figure in Mosaic – Early Christian

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Figure in Mosaic – Early Christian

Columns – Early Christian

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

MT Nebo Early Christian church Ruin

MT Nebo Early Christian church Ruin

MT Nebo Early Christian church Ruin

Model of the Chruch Ruins – Early Christian Jordan

Model of the Chruch Ruins – Early Christian Jordan

Figure in Mosaic – Early Christian

Figure in Mosaic – Early Christian

Figure in Mosaic – Early Christian

We arrived to this isolated mountain area where it was rumored that Moses shed a tear over the place where he would be able to behold the promise land but never set foot on it. It could have been gruelling to spend out most of your life building and taking care to 1 million people only to find out you wouldn’t be there to enjoy success.

There will be seasons in our life where we feel we deserved what we work for and yet our dreams are not yet within reach. There have been seasons of my life where I felt I deserve better. And yet the more I struggled, the farther away I stray from my dream.

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan where Moses lies buried

Mt Nebo in Jordan

Life is a reflection of ourselves. How much we give her is how much she would also give back. In the end, our ability to trust God in any season of our life and rest in His hands, will prove to be the best oppurtunity for God’s provision. Impatience and anger is a reflection of our rawness and that our harvest is not yet ripe.

See you when we get to Galilee!

Comfort Zone Challenge – Meeting in Israel – Completion Episode

Comfort Zone Challenge – Joyfully Meeting Israel

Completion Episode

Surprise! I am back with a vengeance. They say “it doesn’t matter how small the gate or charge with judgement the scroll, I am the captain of my fate.”

Arch Ian Jay in front of a 1000 year old mosaic of a Christian Church in Nebo in Jordan

I am delighted to find that I have actually completed my adventure in Israel to meet 10 pretty non-filipino women and have a picture with them. For others this may not be significant but the lessons in life is most significant to the learner, not the audience. I am sharing this to share my joy of completion. If you haven’t read the previous post Joyfully Meeting Girls in Israel part 1.

Enter Comfort Zone Challenge

Again what is a Comfort Zone challenge? Comfort Zone challenges are planned actions to face a fear with the primary goal of overcoming this fear or increasing your courage and confidence. This action includes a calculated risk of negative social evaluation but does not expose you to real danger or long-term negative consequences.”

Cultivating a Habit of Gratefulness

Cultivating a Habit of Gratefulness

There is one powerful emotion that brings the best out of life.

It keeps sickness away.

It breaks heaviness and depression.

It attracts friendship.

It makes us feel more alive.

Gratefulness in the Heart

According to Dr. McCullough of the New York Times, a University of Miami researcher, feelings of gratitude benefit more than just oneself. “More than any other emotion, gratitude is the emotion of friendship. It is part of a psychological system that causes people to raise their estimates of how much value they hold in the eyes of another person.

After taking my Personality DISC Profile, I saw that I am a C. DISC stands for the four major categories people into four different behavioral traits: dominance, inducement, submission, and compliance. C stands for Compliance which in other reword for the same profile is called “Conscientious”. C’s are more concerned with data and accuracy to the point of leaving people behind. This also leads them to be more analytical.

Seeing that my DISC Profile is C, it has been a constant struggle to create a habit of Gratefulness. Being prone to criticizing and analytical, I was clueless why other people have it easier to be thankful. The good news is that gratefulness is a muscle that can be strengthened through habit. Through constant practice we can strengthen this muscle. Here are some habits that could help you cultivate gratitude.

1. Journal your Blessings Daily.

Comfort Zone Challenge – Joyfully Meeting in Israel Part 1 of 2

Comfort Zone Challenge – Joyfully Meeting Israel

First Part of 2

I’m back after a long vacation. And what I learned is that life cannot be lived inside the safeties of my room. We have to move beyond our boundaries to discover what real life is.

Ancient Herodian City of Cesarea

Enter Comfort Zone Challenge

As part of my personal goals, I have pursued this comfort zone challenge in the past week. It is not that spectacular to others but it is memorable for me.

First, what are comfort zone challenges? From Till H. Groß, Comfort Zone challenges is defined as “A Comfort Zone Challenge is a planned action to face a fear with the primary goal of overcoming this fear or increasing your courage and confidence. This action includes a calculated risk of negative social evaluation but does not expose you to real danger or long-term negative consequences.”

It is similar to Exposure therapy which is a therapy to cure people with specific phobias by exposing a person to a feared stimulus (eg. a spider, heights, for me pretty gorgeous women haha!, speaking in public) until a your mind no longer responds with fear to what would previously cause a panic response. What happens when you are exposed to a frightening but non-dangerous stimulus? Over time your fear will decrease, and after several exposures, the fear will vanish.

Spoken Word: Love at Eighty-fa–v (85)

Spoken Word: I wanna fall in Love at 85
Written and performed by IN-Q

Living Present Loveing Future

I wanna fall in Love at 85
Go on shuffleboard dates and dance to hip-hop from ‘95
Our song would be Staying Alive, but only for the message
Otherwise we’d keep away from disco, it’s depressing
We’d rock matching tracksuits and rope gold chains
We’d look like Run DMC but in their old age
We’d take aerobics classes

Funny Antedotes about Self-Forgiveness

From Mark Rutland of Every Nation World Conference.

Dr Mark Rutland

Some years ago a magazine put out a survey. They asked their readers to tell them “What the most they most would love to hear another person to say to them. “What would you like another person to say to you?” Out of the thousands and thousands of responses. They brought it down to the top three.

Covenants and Forgiveness

Three things that Americans want to be “said to you”.

Can you guess the first one?