How to Hurt Less after a Loss (of Love)

How to Hurt Less after a Loss (of Love) or
Why my first loss didn’t hurt as it should

She came back and saw me. Small talk. Then she dropped the nuclear. It came with fire. It explodes! I squinted through the smoke.

After a few seconds, I check for damage. I was unhurt. But how?

It’s not me like me. I remember once during 2008 recession when my company let me go. That was a rejection bomb. By the way, the stronghold spirits operating in my life is the Spirit of Rejection and Spirit of Fear. They have full control. So when my boss spoke the word, it felt like the whole sky turned black and dark all of a sudden. A heaviness fell over my heart and a dagger plunged deep into my soul. Ouch!! As much as I want to look casual and fine, I can’t. I looked broken and hurt. That is the power of a stronghold.

The Bomb of Rejection

But this was a major bomb. It was a nuclear. And it was my first hopeful relationship. But why was I unscathed? I may be wrong, but this is why I didn’t hurt as much as I should from this loss.

Disclaimer: This is not reality as I may still be in denial. But this is as honest as I could on what my perspective looks like.

Love hurting from loss

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180413 Revelation: My Own Gundam Suit

I was worshiping here in Bacolod and just allow God to speak.

God poured out His heart for me and assured me of His presence in my life. He was saying “this ride looks crazy as it is Ian. And you haven’t even started yet. I have to show you many things. I have a lot in store for you.” I just felt so blessed, to be chosen of God. The word in Psalms 23 kept running back in my mind: “surely goodness and mercy will keep running after you all the days of your life and I will thrive and never leave the presence of God every day of my life.” I can feel that it isn’t the place that will prosper me. Even Dubai, the US or Australia which are prosperous nations are nothing to compare with how I bless you. Imagine it, God will bless you just because you step onto their place – it is you who command the blessing to them. In Jesus, the blessings of Abraham are in YOU!

Angelic Demons Spiritual Form (Sorry I can’t find something more closer to how they look)

While I was a teen, I read a Satanist-turned-Christian write about her experience how she was set free by Jesus. She describe these spirits physically as she saw them, including the big man himself! While she was sincere about how she experienced demonic oppression, it was not helpful for me because one of my weakness is the spirit of fear.  She describe demons as angelic beings who were handsome, 12 foot human like creatures who have thick dark black scales as armor and wings. They were skilled in their chosen field of expertise like the demon of Lust, demon of Alcohol, demon of Drugs, demon of Cancer, etc. I was pretty much paranoid as I imagined demons in everything that goes wrong in my life. The spirit of fear, drowned the oftentimes soft voice of God in my life.

The “Being” of Experiencing God

This morning, now my 6th day in my room, as I was looking for my Oil Pastel set (still looking for it) I found these.

the Gift of nice shoes

Looks like a nice new pair of shoes. But nothing unusual you would say. But in fact what’s unusual is it’s been there beside my bed since December when I received it. Sorry Tita Leny. Sounds like my experience with God.

I have been too familiar with my life, but He’s always ‘game’ for a puzzle of hide n’ seek all the time. There are promises waiting for us in the background screaming in my face, yet all I could see is my sin, my job, my stuff, my business, my ministry. Have you taken time to smell the flowers lately?

180325 Revelation: The Liberation

18 Mar 25 Revelation: The Liberation

As I sat comfortably on my trip going back to Bacolod. I put on my worship music.

Once I started to listed. I could literally feel God translated me to a deeper dimension.

He was saying “All this concerns you have. Have no fear. I can take care of you. You are no longer an orphan. I am your real Father. I can provide you all you need and all your desires too.”

God then walked me back to when I was 4 years old. I could sense the emptiness and the void in my heart. All throughout we went until we saw me in high school. I could again sense the shame and brokenness.

Alone time in Prayer

“Do you know know I was there all along. I purposed you with these weakness because I had a beautiful plan in your life.”

Evaluation of Physical Changes of 5 Day Fasting

This is not a scientific journal, it is a personal blog.

It has been a tradition in our church to start the year seeking God (I’m apologizing to my secular readers) The action we accomplish this is through corporate prayer and fasting. For those expecting a spiritual article I would like to state that this will not be one. Instead I will discuss how actions and expectations affect our results.

Fruits of Fasting 2018 Part 1

I had started this fast full of doubt and so much unsure. In my world, I feel like I’m aging and not making progress the way I want to. For those friends who have subscribed to my blog I want to thank you for being with me all this time in my journey. I wish I could personally take the time to hug you and hold your hand and tell you thank you for supporting me through journey.

Tropical Fruits of Fasting

Live Die Repeat: What to do when you’re Stuck

Live Die Repeat: Courage to Move Forward

 

I was looking to re-watch the films that made an impression on me this year. I could remember that “Edge of Tomorrow” was one of them. The films stars Tom Cruise and the beautiful Emily Blunt. The story is about an alien invasion of earth.